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How to Learn Life’s Lessons and Become Life’s Favorite

1.1 Why Do We Come into This World?

In virtually all religions, we see an indication that a human being should not care about his or her existence and should place this concern with God or other Heavenly Powers. In the Christian New Testament, we find the following precept: “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consumes and where thieves break and steal…” Buddhism directly tells us that our world is maya, illusion, and there is no necessity to make efforts to achieve success in it; otherwise, we will waste our time and energy chasing a mirage. Similar statements may be found in any other religion.

It is absolutely clear, however, that these statements completely contradict all our convictions and life experiences.

We all know very well that, if we do not do anything at all, one day we will face a serious trouble, e.g., lose our home, job, relatives, or health. Who can be satisfied with this? Maybe the ancient gave their recommendations concerning some special human beings—for example, monks? It turns out to be untrue. This knowledge relates to everybody. But to realize this, it is necessary to understand why we are born into this world.

To better understand the course of further reasoning, we will accept an assumption that will not influence the following recommendations in any way, but will help better understand their origins.

We will proceed by accepting the existing belief that a human soul can be repeatedly born into different bodies. In oriental religious doctrines, this phenomenon is called reincarnation, and it means that some part of us, i.e., our immortal soul, can move into a different body after death.

It happens many times, as many as the soul needs or desires. Let us examine the reasons for this in more detail.

In principle, we imagine that our heavenly substance, the immortal soul, does not need to come to Earth. We could stay for as long as we want in the world that we call “invisible” (in hell or in paradise, according to Christianity). But many of us prefer to travel to Earth and lead an uneasy life.

The Hidden World Has Many Levels.

We know from many sources, including the religious ones, that the hidden world (hereinafter, the “Subtle World”) has many levels. It has so many levels because most souls live in very uncomfortable conditions. The lower levels resemble the living places of the poorest people in Africa and Asia. In Christianity, the lowest floors of the Subtle World are called “hell.”

At the same time, life on the uppermost floors of the Subtle World is like the life of a very wealthy person living in a private villa on his own island. No doubt, each soul would like to secure a place at a higher level; however, the floor number depends on the amount of “sins” a human soul has committed by the time it leaves the body (i.e., at death). This idea is directly connected to the notion of “karma,” which is spread widely throughout the East.

Ancient Eastern Doctrines

The term karma is very ancient. In Sanskrit, it means “action.” It indicates that, even in the distant past, people understood that their own actions determine their past, present, and future.

Many authors have written about karma, from theosophists and mystics of the past to countless modern writers, and their approach is very different. For the most part, however, they consider karma to be the burden of problems and illnesses that a human soul inherits in this world.

In esotericism, they call it “mature” or “family” karma. As a result, readers of those books might feel that their life is predetermined and hopeless. Fortunately, it is not nearly as bad as it seems.

Our experience indicates that most problems in our life result from the mistakes we make as conscious adults. We break some of the simple rules that we should observe in this life, and as a result, we face many troubles, illnesses, and even premature death. Not all these difficulties are an outcome of events that happened in our past lives. We ourselves create our problems and illnesses when adopting an incorrect attitude toward our world, and when we pay too much attention to some aspects of our life, completely ignoring the others.

Life is full of diversity, but we rarely accept it. We have ideals, and we are disappointed when our high expectations are not met. In our method, these excessively significant ideas are called “idealizations.”

Notion of Idealization

To idealize means to attach excessive significance to an aspect of life that is important to you. This excess manifests itself in long periods of negative anxiety and stress that occur when real life does not satisfy your expectations.

For example, you have an idealization when you imagine a certain behavioral pattern for your spouse, child, acquaintance, authority figures, or others. You know how they should behave, but they act a little (or a lot) differently— that is, they do not fit the ideals that you imagine, and their behavior does not match your expectations. As a result, you become aggressive, trying to make them act as you deem appropriate. If they do not behave as you imagine they should, you become depressed or desperate.

In either case, you do not accept this person (or the rest of the world), as he does not conform to the ideal that exists in your mind.

We also idealize circumstances and events in the world, as well as people. For example, the government acts incorrectly and leads the country into deadlock. Politicians think only about themselves and do not care about others. Religious extremists go crazy and sacrifice human lives fighting for absurd ideas. Life is unfair, and many innocent people suffer in wars and catastrophes, etc.

You yourself can become an object of idealization if for a long time you are unhappy about your appearance, abilities, habits, etc.

There are a lot of these idealizations blemishing our lives.

Open and Latent Idealizations

Before we begin, we suggest that you distinguish between two types of idealizations: open and latent.

We call an idealization open when something in our life annoys us for a long time (or perhaps provokes some negative feelings). It can be anything: your work, your apartment, a television program, the government, your boss, a co-worker, your mother-in-law, your wife or husband, your child, a significant other, a car, or even yourself. If something annoys you for along time, it means you idealize the object/event and attach excessive importance to it/them because it behaves differently from your point of view, making you unhappy.

It does not matter if you openly show your distress or conceal it charily from other people. It is more important to note that deep inside you have been struggling for a long time, and you feel like you are failing to change the existing order of things.

The second form of idealization is latent. It takes place when you are not always aware of being unhappy about something. Sometimes you do not even realize that a certain idea about yourself or other people is very important for you.

If something extraordinary happens with this idea or person, then deep inside you will be displeased, become aggressive, or feel that your life makes no sense anymore. For example, you may realize that you cannot live without your great job or family after losing it. Earlier, when you had it all, you did not even think about how important this value was for you, but after losing it, you become conscious of how precious it was. It turns out that deep inside you had idealized that aspect of your life or a person, without noticing it.

To determine your latent idealization, you might want to try to imagine how you remove different values from your life, one by one. If the lack of a certain value will not make you suffer emotionally, it means that you do not idealize it and are not obsessed with it; however, if you cannot imagine your life without this value (e.g., job, money, honor, family, children, sex, power, etc.), then you know— you attach an excessive value to it.

You may not even guess that you had a latent idealization until you get in a situation when something unusual happens to whatever it is that is important to you (e.g., you are a very tidy person, and suddenly you find yourself in a dirty and untidy surrounding, which annoys you for a long time).

You Do Not Allow the World to Be Different.

The term excessively means that you value your model of the world too highly, meaning you believe that everyone should (according to your standards) be honest, children should take care of their parents, people should not insult each other, etc., thus not believing that Life can exist in any other variety or form. You think that you know how the world should be arranged, and you are not willing to exercise an idea that it can be different.

From a religious point of view, negative emotions are a result of condemning something in the world and can be considered a sin. Consequently, by attaching excessive importance to our expectations and values, we prepare the ground for collecting sins.

Eventually, this value is to be eliminated or taken away from you so that you do not forget that only God can bestow and take away things. He will eventually “confiscate” what you value because you are unhappy about particular order of things in this world, which has been created by God.

So if you are unhappy with the world, i.e., you commit a sin, He shows you your mistake. He does not punish people like slaves, servants, or misbehaving children.

Instead, He gives us advice, teaches us, and talks to us as reasonable beings who do not yet understand the obvious truth. As soon as you understand His instructions, He stops defying you.

Life Teaches Us Not to Condemn.

If we idealize something, we will receive a kind of spiritual “mentoring”. This mentoring occurs through the forceful destruction of the value that we idealize. In this way, Life tells us, “Look, your ideal does not exist anymore, but nothing terrible happened! You are the same and life around you is the same, yet nothing changed! So is it worth it to waste your nerves fighting for your illusions?”

For example, if you are too deeply in love and idealize your partner, then most likely he or she will soon leave you (or fall in love with someone else). Will life end after this happens? Only for you, and only for as long as it takes you to get rid of your suffering. Almost everyone has lived through this experience, and usually more than once.

If you idealize some aspects of family life, it is very likely that your husband, wife, children, or parents will not share precisely the same ideal of it. The same thing will happen in every other matter in life.

To better explain why things happen in this way, we suggest considering the following model.

Stress Accumulator (SA)

Let us imagine all of the negative emotions that we feel when life does not satisfy our expectations as a certain liquid gathering in a container that we will further refer to as Stress Accumulator (SA).

This liquid flows through an upper pipe into the SA, where it gathers and the level of this liquid shows the amount of our dissatisfaction with life in the form of negative emotions. At the same time, the liquid is released through a pipe at the bottom proportional to our good deeds from Life’s point of view.

When this reservoir is filled to a particular level (when a certain amount of “sins” has been accumulated), we start to see forced spiritual mentoring—that is, Life proves to us in one way or another that we should not have attached excessive importance to our particular ideals.

There are as many as five ways for Life to show us that our excessive expectations are wrong.

Our World as Purgatory

As we already mentioned, the human soul can just stay in the Subtle World forever and does not need to occupy a human body. Of course, every soul wants to move to a higher level. As we said before, each soul occupies a level according to the amount of liquid in our SA at the moment of the physical death of the body.

It is probably possible for a soul to lower the amount of the liquid in SA while it is in the Subtle World, but doing so would require a lot of time. The probability of the soul doing something good in the Subtle World in order to lower the level of liquid in the

collector is very low. It can be accomplished much faster when occupying a human body.

Our planet is a place where we may lower the level of liquid in our SA over time. In other words, our planet is a certain purgatory where we can rid ourselves of previous sins. That is why the inhabitants of the Subtle World’s lower levels very often want to come back to our world to avoid the consequences of their mistakes. Their choices are limited, however, and because of their previous mistakes, they go to countries and families with a lot of poverty, illness, war, violence, and other serious troubles.

This kind of environment makes it terribly difficult to remain serene and forgiving, so it is quite hard for a soul to realize its intention of getting out of the “chronic sinners” circle. If we manage to live under these conditions without bitterness and resentment, however, then the level in our SA will lower radically.

For pure souls inhabiting the upper levels of the Subtle World, our planet is a place where they can come to experience real sensations and worldly life, as well as help others to apprehend their mistakes. That is why many peaceful souls return to Earth even when not required.

They choose a body for a new incarnation and come back to Earth with the best intentions. Many of them very likely assume obligations to bring goodness and serenity, to enlighten and heal people, and to help others achieve the right attitude about life.

Some inhabitants of the higher levels may ask to come to our world on a tour to feel sensations of the real world and physical body: love, sex, food, interpersonal relations, material wealth, art, and so on. They are most likely born into very rich families, which allows them to enjoy material wealth—that is, of course, if they do not break the required rules, complying with the travelers’ code.

Unfortunately, not all of us remember our promises or good intentions when we arrive to our “purgatory.” Earthly temptations seize us and we forget that we had come to this world for a short excursion—“short” because seventy to ninety years of an average human life is a very brief moment compared to our soul’s immortal existence.

Our Life as a Tour

When souls go to Earth for the next incarnation, they are being instructed: “Do not forget that you are going sightseeing, like visiting a museum. Behave appropriately.”

That is why our life is a tour. It is not a trip to an ordinary history museum where all of the exhibits are put inside glass displays and you can only look at them without touching. Rather, it is a contemporary museum that resembles high-tech museums, where visitors can touch and interact with virtually any exhibit. These exhibits demonstrate different physical effects: echo, interference, diffraction, magnetism, laser radiation, and so on. Visitors can touch the handles and levers, press buttons, and operate any of the exhibits.

By paying the entrance fee to such a museum, we gain the right to employ any of the exhibits within the working hours. We cannot, however, take these exhibits home because they do not belong to us. We come to this museum, play with the gadgets, and leave.

The same thing happens with the human soul. Before it goes to Earth, the soul is told, “We give you a possibility of becoming a human being. Go, look around, and endeavor everything they have over there. If possible, get rid of your sins. Please, never forget that you are allowed to stay there for only a limited time. Use everything they

have there, but do not break the visitors’ regulations and be grateful to the one who let you in.”

Those are the rules, and everyone is to observe them.

Unfortunately, our soul usually forgets these instructions. Arriving in the real world, we start considering it the only one. Atheism and our education systems teach this idea to us. At the same time, any religion reminds us that this world belongs to God. Only a few of us perceive this important reminder.

For some reason, we do not believe what we are told, and we become engrossed in this world. We fall passionately in love, thinking that the other person is our property and we cannot live without him or her. Or we become obsessed with money or power. As soon as we become too attached, we forget who created this world and who rules it. We are not even required to love God very much, but rather remember that everything in this world belongs to God and keep this in mind throughout your life.

Take something, experience it, and put it back in its place.

The same principle concerns any excessive attachments, i.e. material goods, spiritual qualities, talents, and creative work. In reality, these rules are sometimes broken. For example, if we have an inborn talent for painting, we may become arrogant and think, ”I am outstanding. I am a creator. I am the best!” It is a common and erroneous conviction, and instead of getting rid of old sins, we begin to add new ones. We start attaching excessive importance to our talent and, as a result, experience a lot of distress. An upper valve opens in our SA, and it starts to fill. We come to Earth to lower the level inside the SA, and instead, we increase it.

It is clear that if we gladly use our abilities and do not experience stress, no matter what happens, then we will have no particular problems because we do not need to be “mentored.” Sadly enough, this happens very rarely. One way or another, almost all people break the rules of living in our world, and Life has to point them to their errors.

We Are Controlled by a Guardian.

The Creator is most likely too busy and does not have enough time to keep track of all of our thoughts, emotions, and actions. That is why Nature in its wisdom created a certain tool in our very souls. This tool constantly monitors our thoughts and actions and, on the basis of its observations, regulates the liquid level in our Stress Accumulator.

Later, we will talk about how this tool functions, as well as about the “controller” of our sins. For now, let us call him our Guardian. He monitors our activities, calculates the liquid level in our SA, and decides what to do with each person and how to teach him a particular lesson.

What Happens When SA Gets Filled Up

When our Stress Accumulator is more than half-empty, our Guardian does not have any significant complaints about us. We live comfortably, life brings us joy, and our wishes easily come true. It is called a luck level and, at this point, Life gladly helps us and makes our wishes come true.

As soon as we start idealizing something and, as a result, feel stressed for a long time, the SA begins to collect the stress liquid. When the accumulator is two-thirds full, the Guardian takes measures and teaches us a lesson. He starts sending us reminders,

e.g., “You forget that you are just a visitor in this world. Don’t think it is all yours, even though you have a ticket. Put things in their places.” We begin to receive strong signals, and if we do not understand them, the situation becomes much worse.

Actually, subtle didactic signals have been previously sent to us already, but now they are becoming stronger and more consistent. Minor accidents may even happen, depending on the type of idealization—for instance, problems at work, family troubles, financial credit problems, private conflicts, money or property theft, and others.

If we continue to ignore these signals, believing that they are just coincidental, and carry on with our misbehaving, then we will be given a more stringent warning.

Pure accidents do not exist in our world; they are strictly predetermined.

All of the unpleasant things that happen to you are intended by your guardian and are meant to remind you that you have the wrong attitude toward the world around you.

Certainly, you may reject this reasoning and continue thinking that these troubles are mere accidents, yet by doing so, you will be left behind and not experience progress in your life.

If something bad happens—for example, a robbery— you should realize that your Guardian agreed with the thief ’s Guardian about stealing your money or your car.

This way, you are reminded of your misconduct and are being penalized for breaking the rules.

Usually, we do not recognize our Guardian’s suggestion and continue our usual way of life. The insurance pays for the stolen car, and you go and buy a new vehicle.

Later, your Guardian pushes you in yet another accident with your new car. It seems like this is the right time to start reconsidering your life, yet it is easier for you to believe that everything was just an accident or the other person’s fault; this is because we are stubborn and have only practical reasons for everything. So, Life has to teach us harsher lessons.

When more than 80% of our SA is full, the Guardian starts to send us very strong signals. As we already mentioned, accidents happen, family life is ruined, and serious problems develop at work. First, we lose things that we are excessively attached to in this world. A businessman may lose clients, get sued, and go bankrupt, and nothing will seem to work to help improve the situation.

A housewife may face a family crisis, have problems with children or other relatives, and so on.

If we do not understand why these signals are sent, serious illnesses appear. As a result of erroneous ways of thinking, many of us get sick all the time, and it is almost impossible to find absolutely healthy people nowadays.

That is also why illnesses are often accompanied by accidents. In our modern society, medicine rather efficiently fights physical illnesses, and as a result, it is often difficult for the Guardian to make someone sick (especially if you play sports and watch your health). The guardian has, however, plenty of other opportunities to send a warning.

If an illness does not happen, then we face life problems— that is, troubles in many other areas. For example, sometimes very successful athletes attach excessive importance to their fame. They start treating others with arrogance. As you probably guessed, it is an obvious violation of the rules of tourists’ behavior.

Consequently, an upper valve opens in SA, it begins to fill, and the successful athlete faces troubles in life. He is no longer successful, no one hires him, and people do not talk about him. He thinks his life is over. In reality, he goes through a process when humiliation is cleansing his soul.

Now he is in the same situation as those people whom he recently despised. If he can realize it and asks for forgiveness from Higher Powers, then his situation will soon change to the better.

Usually, we do not fully comprehend the lessons we are taught. We do not understand that it was Life who let us participate in the game and win. It is also Life who changes our lives for the worse to make us understand that we are the same visitors here as the people we despise.

When a soul comes to Earth, it has permission to play any human games. It can experience business, love, war, power, politics, spirituality, art, etc. Yet, the soul should not forget that it came to Earth as to a museum or even a national park.

Our Life as a Trip to a National Park

We all know that, by paying the ticket, we receive the right to enter a national park, put out a tent there, and if it is permitted, sometimes even hunt. Do not forget, however, that we are under constant supervision. As soon as you break the rules of the national park, a park ranger arrives and makes you pay the fine. If you do something really outrageous, you might be thrown out of the park or even sent to jail.

This example illustrates how we should treat this world. We might dislike something about it, but it should not cause us to become aggressive or get offended. For example, in nature you might dislike that a giraffe’s neck is too long or a lion’s roar is too loud. You might also detest watching a lion kill an antelope. You might really hate these things, but you understand well enough that nothing can be changed. Even against your will, you must accept this park the way it is. It is silly to be offended by a giraffe or a lion; however, in reality, we often become annoyed or take offense with politicians, businessmen, relatives, acquaintances, and others. You cannot change the situation; you can only add some sins to your SA by having an incorrect attitude toward things that were not created by you, thus not depending whatsoever on your attitude or your actions.

That is why the best attitude in our life is the attitude of a traveler who came to this world for just some time to enjoy the surrounding, instead of taking critical notes. Again, the world is not created by us, so we have to accept it as is. We are constantly being supervised in case we break the rules determined by this park’s owners; however, having come to this life, we do not know, or we forget that there is a guardian who always keeps his eye on us.

This model explains why it helps us to turn to Higher Powers in critical situations. What is a critical situation?

For example, perhaps you were breaking the park’s regulations for a long time, so the ranger caught you and wants to send you to jail. Who can save you in this situation? The ranger can hardly help you because he is doing his duty. You can only count on the park’s owner, i.e., God. The best way to attract his attention to your misfortune is to tell him about your sincere feelings. God is merciful, so he will probably believe you and forgive you. Of course, he realizes certain insincerity in your Love because you probably rarely thought about God until this critical situation occurred. Just try not to forget the promises you are giving him right now.

God is compassionate, but he does not always have time to forgive your sins. Your Guardian always supervises you, however. He knows very well how shifty you are, so next time he will put you through such a hardship that you will not even have time to ask for mercy.

That is why re-thinking your values and praying to God is quite efficient in critical situations in general.

What Happens When Your Stress Accumulator Is Full?

Let us continue discussing the Guardian’s penalties. When our SA is almost full (90–95%), we face fatal illnesses or major problems (e.g., going to jail). If we still do not understand that we are breaking the rules for visitors and place too much hope in doctors, healers, or judges, then extreme measures will be applied.

At this stage, the SA overflows, and our Guardian loses His patience. If we manage to recognize our mistakes and drastically change our way of thinking and behavior, then the upper valve will close, and the liquid level in the SA will subside. In this case, the illness will go away (we have all heard of cases of inexplicable recovery from AIDS or cancer.) If our views and behavior do not change, our life is taken away from us, resulting in physical death.

When we die, our SA is full, so the soul gets stuck on the lower levels of the Subtle World, almost in hell. No doubt, the soul suffers a lot there. If we idealized something in this life and our life was taken from us as a result, it is at this level that we find themselves among similar souls. If in this life we despised people, then other souls at this level in the Subtle World will despise us as well. Imagine life in the world where everybody despises each other. If we attached excessive importance to sex, then now we share space with sexually addicted people and are being constantly humiliated.

After passing away, we all go to a level of the Subtle World that corresponds to the level of the accumulated liquid in our SA at the moment of death. We create our own hell or paradise by our own decisions. To lower the liquid level in SA, some older people are put in conditions where they lose the ability to have sex, feel the taste of food, and experience other carnal pleasures. This way, by the time we become old, we no longer have so much attachment to the world, and our SA empties a little, even if we do not realize it.

Here we considered a situation of a person who does not realize that he is only a temporary visitor on this planet.

Now let us examine what happens when we do realize that we are only guests on this planet and are allowed here for an excursion.

Conscious Trip to Earth

First, we should buy a ticket. The price is probably a promise to enlighten people and help them. This way, we get an opportunity to empty out our SA if it still contains some stress liquid. Of course, a soul coming from a higher level of the Subtle World has many options concerning the form of its next terrestrial incarnation. To avoid excessive suffering or struggle for survival from an early age, these souls are usually born into prosperous families. You may notice this fact by reading the biographies of many spiritual leaders.

This soul often is given a talent—for example, in sports, arts, science, healing, finance management, trade, etc. These abilities are meant to ease up the existence in

this world because, by using them, we become more successful than people without such talents. On the other hand, possessing a talent is also a big test because by being talented, we are more tempted to idealize our abilities, fame, material wealth, etc. If we manage to appreciate our natural abilities, not becoming arrogant and scornful, then we are able to considerably clean out our SA and guarantee ourselves a higher level of placement after our return to the Subtle World.

Unfortunately, the biographies of many renowned painters, poets, writers, scientists, and other famous people show that most of them lead lives full of wrong passions and emotional attachment. As a result, after death, they most likely move two to three levels lower than they were before.

We Have Access to Everything on Earth.

We do not intend any of the above-mentioned discussion to scare you. We can assure you: We come to Earth to use everything offered here. That is why each of us has a chance to try business, politics, love, sex, art, becoming wealthy, etc. We may do any of these things with passion and pleasure. It is very important, however, to remember that your life is just a game, and you should never despise and hate anyone or take offense. These are mistakes that will lead to the Guardian teaching you a lesson.

How can we determine when we are breaking Life’s rules and deserve a reprimand? We believe that everyone should feel it on his own, although we have some recommendations for you. For example, you are fishing and suddenly lose a big fish from the hook. Most likely, you will become very emotional about this failure. Later, you will accept this situation and forgive yourself, the fish, and the rest of the world. You should treat all other failures in the same manner, regardless of whether they concern your family life, work, creative endeavors, etc. It already happened, and we cannot do anything about it. Keep this idea in mind, and you will lead a happy life in which your plans will be worked out quickly and easily.

First Conclusions

Our model of the world and our discussion of the purpose for our coming to Earth explain the reasons for most (not all, of course) illnesses, troubles, and accidents.

Our model supports the idea of other religions that everything in this world belongs to God. That is why we should try not to grieve for a long time if something or someone does not meet our expectations. On the other hand, if we understand how we should behave in this world and accept it as is, we have the right to ask Life to give us everything that we need. We will make our wishes come true because our planet has everything in abundance if we simply allow ourselves these good things to come into our life.


  1. We come to this world and may do whatever we want here (of course, without causing harm to others). At the same time, we should not consider anything our own and idealize any terrestrial values. We are just visiting this world briefly and should consider our successes and failures as a part of the game.
  2. If we start attaching excessive importance to some material or spiritual values, i.e., idealizing them, our Stress Accumulator (SA) will overflow, and Life will give us

spiritual lessons, which will destroy the values that we are excessively attached to and prove that our convictions are illusory.

  1. If we do not understand these signals and continue breaking the rules of this world, we face an early death.
  2. If we reconsider our attitude toward life and people and stop attaching excessive importance to our expectations and ideas, then Life does not need to give us its lessons anymore because we have already learned them. As a result, we may get rid of serious illnesses, troubles, accidents, and other things that hinder our life.